A New Age, A Dark Age
by Claytonimor
Summary: In science and in law, unbiased views are often sought after. Perhaps, then, it is for the best that there is no such thing as an unbiased view, at least, not a human one. After all, opinions are what make humanity so damn fun. Rated M for language, terrorism, and as much "just as planned" as possible. Good luck. An AU story of humanity encountering the council races early.
1. The First Day

Due to various... circumstances...which is like, three bad reviews...well...more like honest critiques that won't let me converse with the criticizer so I can nail down some of the more solid points of their criticisms, I'm going to rewrite this little bugger here, mmmkay? Probably spruce up the interview section...though I can see how a big announcement would be made on the whole "find a new species" thing before their would be an interview of all things to release the news...,but mmmkay, rewrite time it is.

For those of you who have stated that I am not serious enough for a first contact situation...well humor is on here for a reason. Also, those were honest reaction I feel that I would have, i.e. tentacle-fear, indignation at humanoids, and a long period of utter confusion and general awkwardness BEFORE getting down to business.

**Disclaimer: With God as my witness I declare myself one of many co-non-owners of Bioware, and therefore claim no rights as to characters and events in this story beyond my own unique ideas. Ideas stolen off of others will be theirs' to request removed and replaced, and will only be removed and replaced at the _original author's_ request.**

God damn Disclaimers.

_Thoughts/Electronic Voice_

"Speech"

(Author's/Note:)

* * *

**Chapter 1: I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death**

* * *

Trans-Atlantic Airspace

Harrison Locke had honestly no idea what he was getting into. Sure, he was a Linguistics major with a minor in Biology (it was bet, he had lost), but to _actually_ converse with another (hopefully) sapient race, there had to be better choices than him...he just prayed that the aliens could whip together some sort of translation software for a species that they had only met...what was it...three weeks prior.

Hell, he considered that fact the world governments themselves had managed to cobble together a fairly efficient mass-effect drive over the course of that same month a miracle. He guessed that, like all human ingenuity, it took a major crisis before the majority of mankind kicked its ass into gear.

As the shuttle finally cleared the clouds and showed the amassed xeno-flotilla Harrison and his two marine (at least he assumed they were Marines, fuck, they could have been those crazy-ass Spetznaz for all he knew about military dress) "bodyguards" all gasped. Apparently, for the aliens, a new species was worth a good 25-ship fleet.

He briefly considered the fact that the largest of the quarter-hundred vessels looked like it could eat the N.A.A.S. Avalon (the newest of the British/American super-carriers) in one bite, and sighed, before, setting course for the titanic vessel. It was the way-point the xenos had marked in the days prior, after all.

As his tiny vessel flitted between the warships, Harrison briefly hoped that the aliens wouldn't be as terrifying as some of the more recent flicks had displayed...God, Japan could be so_ weird__._

_Why so many tentacles, Japan, why!?_

Shaking his head to throw off the mildly racist thoughts, Harrison looked back out at the oh so very _black_ canvas this crazy fucking scene was to by played on and sighed, he was probably going to piss himself at the sight of them._  
_

One of the bodyguards tapped his shoulder and pointed him forward, they were nearing an opening in the side of the large ship. Shaking his head at his own inattentiveness, Harrison nodded a thanks to the soldier and guided the shuttle into the obvious hangar bay.

_I knew I shouldn't have gone to work today__._

* * *

_Citadel News Net (CNN)_

_Joining us today, all the way back from the near-rim in the galactic south, is Commodore Tarsus of the 3rd Scout Flotilla. Tell us, Commodore, we heard just recently about the new species you found, Humans, was it, Tell us a bit about them._

_Thank you Ellias. Let me start with a disclaimer, okay?_

_That's fine._

_Okay, well everything I have found out has been indirect and I still haven't been able to get much information on them beyond the regular things, but, from what I was told, these humans are possibly the most confusing species we've encountered yet._

_What do you mean by that?_

_Well, in the words of out translator, Thalia, "Inflections on individual words can change the meanings of whole sentences in most of their major languages and their main 'trade language' is actually a conglomeration of the grammar rules of a region that developed its own language with the words from another region with a derived language."_

_That sounds... incredibly difficult to learn._

_You would think so, right, but the fact of the matter is that the so-called 'language of commerce', known by the official name of 'English', actually continued to absorb and assimilate words, phrases, and grammar from every other language it came across. That allowed for most everyone on the human homeworld to at least have a starting point in the language._

_Huh, so pretty soon, these humans may steal some of our words?_

_Well, only from the Asari and the Quarians, if they're unlucky enough to encounter them, as the rest of us just don't have compatible throat and mouth structures._

_I don't know if I should be relieved or disappointed that, once they have access to Universal translation software, that language will lose that unique trait._

_Well, whatever happens, happens. Now that we have gotten so far off topic, why don't I tell you about the humans, proper?_

_Sure, don't keep our viewers waiting now, please._

_I guess I'll start with the humans, themselves then. From what I saw of them, the humans are a lot like the Asari in body structure. Their skeleton and their musculature are nearly the same, and its really only the surface differences that kept us from mistaking humans for Asari._

_Oh? What kind of surface differences?_

_Other than the obvious ones of skin color and having hair? Well they are the only race, other than the Quarians, that have external sensor devices geared towards hearing. And they have a fairly unique (even by their own planet's standards) core temperature controller._

_Oh? Tell us about that._

_Well, they mainly use water-based secretions that then evaporate to cool surface blood before it flows back to the core. The adult male human can shed several liters in a day, from what I'm told._

_That seems...remarkably inefficient, how can terrestrial creatures maintain that kind of fluid loss?_

_Heh, humans have had the remarkable luck of living on a planet that is over two-thirds water and has a super massive moon, the third largest in their solar system._

_Woah, over two-thirds? Super massive? I guess they did get quite a bit of luck._

_Heh, yeah. The moon is large enough to have a very visible affect on the ecosystem proper, especially with the tides. Less well known, however, is how it affects their atmosphere, making cycles in the weather that match the tidal cycle to an extent. That, coupled with the sheer amount of water on the planet, has made thirst a near negligibility for most of the planet outside of desert regions._

_Lucky them, huh? Now that we have successfully gotten off track, could you tell us more about how the humans interact with each other? What are there general beliefs, political systems, etcetera?_

_Right, right. I'll start with the way their planet is divided._

_Divided? So no central governing body?_

_Now, now, even the Asari started off as a set of warring tribes and nation-states. And there is a sort of central governing body, even if it is a touch impotent. It is, in fact, remarkably similar to our own Council._

_Really? That's good then, it should be a fairly simple transition to Citadel rule for them._

_Well we can only hope...at any rate, from what Thalia could figure out, their planet has been practically ruled by four superpowers for the last hundred fifty years or so. One calls itself the, and I quote, "United North American States". Apparently the acronym used to be much better, but I digress. The next along, actually produced the first one four-hundred or so years ago, calls itself the "European Union". Then there are two that are based in the "eastern" hemisphere of their planet, the Russian Federation, which is the largest in land mass, if only just, and the last one, which is based from the planet's oldest nation-state, and is called the "Chinese People's Federation". Aside from the third one, they are all super-nations composed of many separate countries._

_With that many superpowers, how did you get just one ambassador then?_

_Well, remember that central Council-esque body I was telling you about? It was the body that sent the ambassador, not any of the superpowers or other nation-states._

_You mean it isn't even just the four there?_

_Oh you have no idea. Even when you eliminate all the antonymous nations that comprise each of the four power-blocs, there are still more than 160 nations on the planet._

_What? With that many conflicting interests how do they get anything done? Even the council only has to deal with a few species at any given time._

_Well, it probably involved a lot of bureaucracy and politics._

_I guess they aren't so lucky after all, huh._

_Heh, you have a point there._

_Thanks, I try._

* * *

Mid-Earth Orbit

Harrison glanced over his shoulder at the soldiers and muttered, "Well, let's get this over with."

Briefly, one of the Marines snorted, the noise distorted by the mask he wore into something sounding like a person drowning in blood. The other Marine then elbowed the man in the side.

Sadly, Harrison lifted the suitcase he had been given and walked past the two men, his feet echoing off the metal flooring of the shuttle, moving towards the airlock in the back of the ship.

_Everyone's a critic._

Shaking his head, Harrison keyed a code into a holographic display next to the airlock and, with a hiss of decompression, both doors of the airlock slid down at once. Sighing at the blatant stupidity, Harrison stepped out of the shuttle and down to the sheet metal floor, below, flanked by the guards, who were now fingering the various implements of death they carried with them.

It was an odd assortment that greeted them.

Granted none of the three humans had actually _seen_ any aliens before, but still!

In front of them were _bipedal_, _humanoid_ aliens for God's sake! Every member of the damn alien welcoming committee had the same damn basic figure! The Fuck! Fine, thrown every damn xenobiologists' theories on alien life out the window!

Their were upwards of two dozen aliens in the hangar bay, but the three in the middle were clearly the main diplomats of the group, what with the way they looked vaguely smug and asshole-ish...oh sorry, 'commanded the area's attention'.

The right-most alien looked vaguely amphibian-like with large, unblinking eyes and strange growths on its head...oh, and it lacked a nose, but, hell, so did ol' Volde-puu (A/N:The Dark Lord Voldemort for you non-nerds out...wait a minute, there are non-nerds here?). Other than that...humanoid. He/She/It was the only one of his/her/its species visible, as far as Harrison could tell.

The left-most alien was the least human-like of the three, with its mandibles and bird-like tibio-tarsal articulation, or as a redneck would say: It's knees 'ere bakards! The fact that it clearly had what could have been a _beak _with very little de-evolution made Harrison wonder if they had hollow bones, too, or maybe supremely sharp eyesight! That species seemed to be most of what had to be the guard for the diplomats, considering that every one of the species that wasn't the diplomat was armed quite openly. Harrison quickly declared them his favorite alien...though that could just be his xenophilia speaking.

The middle alien was just cheating. She, for with a species that was so obviously close to humanity in design it was really easy to guess gender, was quite clearly the definition of a 'blue-skinned alien babe'. Hell, she probably had some kind of weird alien power that let her ignore species barriers when mating...probably some stupid shit with 'taking information from the DNA directly'. Other than her, their were some vaguely commando-esque women also of her species.

Sighing, Harrison walked forward towards the alien in the middle and thrust out his hand for a handshake, no way was he going to do whatever sick alien greeting these damn knock-off xenos had in mind.

Surprisingly, the blue-skinned woman thrust out her own hand with little pause and grasped his own.

Harrison, in his surprise, took a while before he actually began the shake. After he finished, he took a step back and watched the xeno woman's movements while contemplating her hand. It was soft and warm and...too damn human! Sighing, he reminded himself that at least it wasn't..._ tentacles_...sick Japanese bastards, and went back to watching the woman's movements.

Well, if her arm waving got anything into his head it was vastly ignored when she made the Vulcan salute of all things, and pointed at him before placing her hand on the head of the avian alien next to her.

Slowly, his mind coming back from the complete confusion it had just experienced, Harrison inwardly smacked himself, _obviously they would have been monitoring our radio signals!_ and nodded at the alien woman. She then took her hand off of the avian and stepped close to him.

For the first time since they had arrived, the alien woman spoke. Harrison, being unsure of what to do, just stood and watched her chant. Shortly, her eyes snapped to black and Harrison felt a tug on his conscience before he...well it was like he was aware...but wasn't? Sorta like he was looking through his own eyes, but not controlling them.

Memories of his life, though they generally seemed to be centered around his childhood years in elementary school, and flashes of memories of a life he didn't recognize, filled with blue-skinned alien babes and towering cityscapes briefly shot through his mind.

Slowly, the memories began to speed up into a blur with him only catching a few full blown images from the other side's memories: a vast space station in the middle of a nebulae, a running gun fight with hunchbacked reptiles, conversing with jellyfish and gill-faced gorillas, and brief flash of head pain before his awareness was thrust upon him again.

Suddenly regaining control of his limbs caused him to stumble back, a major headache caused him to grip his head and hiss, and a brief shake of the head allowed him to look up and focus back in on the task at hand. Directly across from him, the two other aliens were about as nonchalant-looking as xenos with foreign facial structures could while the woman who had just Vulcan mind-melded him reflected his own movements.

Eventually, the woman rose up and said, in a slightly accented German, "Tut mir leid, aber das war der einzige Weg für mich, um Sie direkt zu sprechen."

Suppressing a snort, Harrison responded back in his own German, "Kein Grund, sich zu entschuldigen, aber möchten Sie vielleicht zu Englisch wechseln," before continuing, "After all, I don't think my friends speak German."

Blinking for a moment, the woman proceeded to smack herself in the forehead with the palm of her hand, garnering strange looks from all of the other xenos present.

Shaking her head (likely at her own foolishness), the woman reached out her hand again and said, "I really am sorry about that, let's start over again."

Grinning broadly as the two Marines shuffled their feet behind him, Harrison reached out and grasped her hand once more, "Yes, let's."

Flashing a smile in return, the woman said, "My name is Thalia, and welcome to the greater galactic community."

_Well, I guess today isn't so bad after all._

* * *

**End**

* * *

Well? How was it? Don't be shy! Review will determine if I switch this into my long ass run up of ongoing stories (all of which I actually am writing for! I just lost the data on my chapter 2 rewrite for IGWL a while back so it will be out soon [hopefully{shut you, me!}, fuck off] at any rate it ought to be out soon, and with that second ch rewrite out, I move on to making for chappys for my other stories...all simultaneously! Won't that be fun! And extremely inefficient! YAY!

In the words of a great American:

We're in a war, dammit! We're going to have to offend somebody!

-John Adams, 2nd U.S. President

**Purple Mushrooms:**The Chinese People's Federation is part of Mass Effect lore and was one of the few nations actually named. I was trying to weave in how I think the world map will change in the next 200-odd years. So, to explain properly, here is my version of how the Chinese People's Federation came about:

**Chinese People's Federation:**

It starts with three tension areas for China, two of which are among the only Communist nations left on Earth and another is still an area full of controversy for China. That is, North Korea, Vietnam, and Tibet. In my version of the world events, India actually ends up attacking Chinese forces in Tibet in order to "free" them and the like. China, understandably, attacks back, starting a war in the region. North Korea and Vietnam, both "allies" of China and both fearing that the war is actually a big elaborate plan to exhaust the strength of China by the Western powers, namely a place call the United Stated of America, donated forces, vehicles, and WMD's to China in order to end the war quickly so China can get back to covering their asses. Unbeknownst to them, India actually launched the attack without any support from the Western powers, except for minor aid on the part of the United Kingdoms, and, since India was the aggressor, the UN pretty much condemned their actions and the U.S. (known for ignoring inconvenient UN sanctions) had many, many problems at home, baring their involvement. Without any real backup and plagued with poor logistics and a swift loss of air superiority, India was actually rather rapidly repulsed. The only real result of the short, 2-3 month war (then on referred to as The Plateau War (mainly do to laziness on my part, but I digress)) was that it emboldened the Communist nations (except for Cuba, which was actually having a revolution at the time) and vastly strengthened the ties between the three nations, who swiftly adopted a free trade act between the countries, much like NAFTA, and adopted a joint-defense force that took soldiers from all three countries. This joint defense force eventually, due to various factors too wordy to go into and boring to explain, launched a coup d'etat against all three nations and actually attained victory. The force, consisting of 85% Chinese soldiers, insisted on calling the new supernation the Chinese People's Federation, while the other 15% of the force managed to allow their respective nations to just barely retain some measure on sovereignty over their own territories, making it a technical federation of three nations in which one holds all the power.

Hope that explanation is enough for you, mister Mushrooms. I hate to offend people.

In all seriousness people, if you have honest critiques, please send me them while in an account so I can contact you and nail down just what it is you think I'm missing, okay?


	2. For Fuck's sake, Claytonimor!

Sorry everyone, this isn't a chapter, this is me covering my ass from all the fire I am about to receive.

That's right people, this is an excuse as to why I haven't been writing. Normally I would give you some damn sob story and shit and make you all forgive me, but fuck that. The truth of the matter is that I broke my laptop. Basically, I dropped it and the screen broke. I said, "Shit" and waited until yesterday to order a new laptop...which I received today. While I have pretty much lost all data on the previous laptop, I won't be dropping any of my stories. What I am going to be doing is following what I had set up for the rest of my stories. That means finishing rewriting If God's Were Lazy and then moving on a rotation pattern to Emperor Deliver us, then Apathy, Weakness and Doubt, then The Obsidian Blade, and then back to A New Age, A Dark Age.

That is all.


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